Jokes....

Santa : People consider me as a "GOD" Banta : How do you know?? Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again..

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Sardar complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house. Police : How the theif did not take TV??? Sardar : I was watching TV na....

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Tihar Jail ordered 999 Shirts and 1000 Pants for its inmates. Tell why this odd combination? Answer : Bcos SALMAN KHAN is coming and He hardly wear SHIRTs!!!

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Whats the height of Intelligence? Answer : A 99 year old Sardar going for HUTCH ka naya lifetime scheme

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A lie machine is bought.It works in thefollowing way.....If the truth is told- the machine wont give anysound
If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Now there are three Indians.One Bengali,one Madrasiand one Sardarji.Their correspondences are given infront of the liemachine.Here it goes......
Bengali:- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think i can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Madrasi:-'No no,I think i can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound(truth)
Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...' .
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-' 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-' 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-' 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-' 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-' 'KIRRRRRRRR...'

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Museum administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you've broken.
Banta Singh: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
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Sailor (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathea man dies?"
Banta Singh: "Why don't you use a mouthwash?"
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Q: Why did Banta Singh take his pregnant wife to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised 'free delivery'.
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How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
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The Perfect Husband
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There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf clubAfter a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole. Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings.One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
(H - Husband, W - Wife)
H - "Hello?"
W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
H - "Yes."
W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw abeautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
H -"What's the price?"
W - "Only $1,000."
H - "Well, OK, goes ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
W -"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2005models. I saw one I really liked. It's a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price. and since we need to exchangethe BMW that we bought last year...
H - "What price did he quote you?"
W - "Only $65,000..."
H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else...
H - "What?"
W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account andI stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool Englishgarden, acre of park area, beach front property."
H - "How much are they asking?"
W - "Only $450,000 -- a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"
W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
H - "Bye...I love you too..." The man hangs up & closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking athim in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while holdingthe phone and asks "Does anyone know who this Cell phone belong to???" -- keep ur mobile safe :)
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Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here", complained the pub owner.
The two Sardars swapped their sandwiches.
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A sardarji saw a boy who wore his cap in the back direction.
This event really harassed the social nature of sardarji and then he also decided to wear his pagari in the backward direction. While he was on his way to his office, another sardar saw him and asked, "Sardarji, aa rahe ho ke jaa rahe ho?"
Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga- mita dunga.Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.
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Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? Banta singh: Post office.
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Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta thakya?Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."
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Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho?Friend: B.A.Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.
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Sardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek sardar jhad se ulta latak kegaanelaga, dusre ne pucha ki ulta kyon latka he, Sardar bola oye side B gaa raha hun.
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