DAFFY DEFINITIONS

Absent Minded Person:
One who stands in front of the mirror for hours trying to remember where he had seen the person before.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Opportunists:
One who starts having a bath when he/she accidentally falls in a river.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Love affairs:
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence afterwards.
Life:
Is a cigarette which begins with flashes but ends with ashes.
Diplomat:
A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.
Committee:
A group of persons who individually can decide nothing but jointly can decide that nothing can be done.