Smart Answers
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends.Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet.Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia...why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people asks.Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiterStupid Question: Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after yearsStupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask.Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?Answer:-No, he's a miserable wife-beating insensitive lout.it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call.Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.. You dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair.Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding..
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth.Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?Answer: No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks.Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ....it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet.Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia...why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people asks.Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiterStupid Question: Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after yearsStupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask.Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?Answer:-No, he's a miserable wife-beating insensitive lout.it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call.Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.. You dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair.Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding..
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth.Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?Answer: No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks.Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ....it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
posted by me ra at 11:11 AM
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