SeriousVs. Sincere

From Prabhu:

Something that I wanted to say, but could not put in words; dont know how could I thank him for this:

Let the sky fall on me; Let the sea evade me;

Let the wind sweep me; Let the God beckon me;



I’m here;

With myriad nails struck on my heart…

Take me..

Take me back!

Don't worry….

Don't worry about how long it will take, or what others will think of you, or how difficult it will be. Just get busy and do it.

Instead of wasting your time and energy on worry, use that time and energy for action. Instead of visualizing what you don't want, create what you do want.

Of course there will be challenges, painful mistakes, embarrassing moments and difficult efforts. But instead of worrying about them and making them worse, just go ahead, work your way through them and get them over with.

Worry fills you with doubt, and doubt eats away at your dreams. Choose instead to take action, with so much relentless determination and intensity that there's no room for worry.

Even though there will always be problems, you are truly capable of greatness. Imagine yourself fulfilling that greatness, starting right now from where you are with what you have.

Then jump enthusiastically into the journey. Forget the worries, and bring your best possibilities to life…

Choose To Be Happy!

Stay optimistic in tough times
by Christina Julian

When trouble strikes or we fall upon difficult circumstances, we can still make decisions as to how we will chose to live with our new life circumstances. Do we look at the situation as something that has fallen upon us, leaving us beholden to those circumstances - or can we resolve to look for the happiness in the cards we're dealt?

One thing is clear. While we can't control what happens in life, we can manage our responses and our outlook. People often connect trouble or strife to a feeling of helplessness - and it's true that the bigger the hurdle, the more important it is to detect that sliver of happiness lurking below the surface. We are all granted this choice as part of our existence - to select either the bright or the not-so-bright side of things. But how do you choose?

The benefits of optimism
There is nothing wrong with wanting the best possible outcome, but when something less than that happens, a critical decision needs to be made - even in the heat of emotion. An optimistic attitude increases your likelihood of success, and it actually promotes good health. Every time you choose optimism over pessimism, your immune system gets a boost. On the flip side, when negativity infiltrates your body the odds are greater that physical and mental illness will seep in. If you want to step over to the happy side of the fence, try these tips to tap it and trap it:

5 happy steps
Stop, breathe, and then pick "happy." It sounds a bit corny, but it actually works. By breathing deeply you affect your body and mood in a positive way, ensuring that your head is in a clear state, and thus more prepared to tackle challenging situations.

Stock your "bright side" toolkit. Dig deep into your memory bank, and pull out three surefire things that make you happy or instigate laughter. Commit them to your top-of-mind memory, or just type them into your phone, calendar, or gmail account. When your sad self is threatening to overtake your happiness, swap the sapping thoughts for happy ones.

Avoid negativity. Actually pin it down, and get specific. For instance: you look outside, and it's pouring rain - on a day you are supposed to host an evening barbecue. You're hoping to avoid cancelling, since all the food and drink are already chilling on ice. Instead of getting stuck, devise a plan to avoid your worst-case scenario. Be creative and move it inside! Clear out the living room, spread out beach towels, and have a picnic. If the weather takes a turn for the better, you're still set. You could continue with the party as originally planned, or spice it up by trying something new.

Reinforce the positive. This one is a snap. When something threatens to bring you down, challenge that thought by stating your new mantra. "I choose to be happy." It doesn't mean you're not going to be upset… it just means you are choosing not to get stuck there all day long, by installing a happiness-oriented mindset. Challenge yourself to fight back when the negativity attacks. Duke it out to the finish until you've squelched the ugly naysayer within.

Invent a silver lining. Let's say it's the day before you and your family are blazing out of town for a much-needed weekend away. Your boss pops into your office and informs you that the trip will have to wait - duty calls. Sure, that is awful - but is there another way to look at it? You do have a job, after all! Also, by complying, you are agreeing to do them a "favor." This puts you in a prime position to ask for a concession in return, a make-good of sorts - because, let's face it - they owe you. Turn the negative situation into a positive by asking for an xtra vacation day, or request that you be able to leave early on Fridays for a month.

Just remember - no matter what the circumstances, you really do have a choice as to how to handle the news. There is a lot more to be gained by deciding to make the best of it. By reaching that decision now you're getting a healthier you in return - and who wouldn't get a little happy about that?

EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't
enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her
portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she
would say 'Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry.'

This was Mother's First Lie.

As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our
house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a
little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just
two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother
would sit beside me and eat the what was still left on the bone of the
fish I had eaten, My heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the
other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and
said, 'Eat this fish, son! I don't really like fish.'

This was Mother's Second Lie.

Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to
bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks.
This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I
awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said,
'Mother, go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow
morning.' Mother smiled and said 'Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired.'

This was Mother's Third Lie

When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After
dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the
bell rang, I ran to meet her.. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass
of salabat
(ginger) that she had prepared in a thermos. The ginger was not as
strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration, I
at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said
'Drink, son! I'm not thirsty!'.

This was Mother's Fourth Lie.

After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent.
She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our
family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing
our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house
came to help us solve our problems big and small.
Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often
advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying
'I don't need love.'

This was Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old
Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning
just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was
steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, 'I have enough
money.'

That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the
American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With
a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in
America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me 'I'm
not used to to high living.'

That was Mother's Seventh Lie

In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized.
Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was
bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was
heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, 'Don't
cry, son! I'm not in pain.'

That was Mother's Eighth Lie.

Telling me this, her eighth lie,,, she died.

YES, MOTHER TELL A LIE .... BUT WAS AN ANGEL TO ME!


M - O - T - H - E - R

'M' is for the Million things she gave me, 'O' means Only that she's
growing old, 'T' is for the Tears she shed to save me, 'H' is for her
Heart of gold, 'E' is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them, 'R'
means Right, and right she'll always be, Put them all together, they
spell 'MOTHER' a word that means the world to me.

For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom's
presence on Earth, this story is beautiful.
For those who aren't so blessed, this is even more beautiful.

Golden Rules for Selecting your Life Partner...

*Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.*

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no
one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%,
it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married,
they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people
make when they date. *Choosing a life partner should never be based on
love.* Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a
profound truth here.

*Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result
of a good marriage*. When the other ingredients are right, then the
love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime
relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about
finding and keeping a life partner.


*QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?*
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married
for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do
you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog
together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You
need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or
(2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart.
To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!
*Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.



*QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with
this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The
basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't
get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and
feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone
with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest
with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the
person you plan to marry.

*QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?*
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you
test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a
regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher
of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be
good and do the right ";. So ask about your significant other: What do
they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a
materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character
refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who
are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to
seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will
put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know
that before walking down the aisle.


*QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?*
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the
ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person
pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they
wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people
whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi
drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they
have gratitude and appreciation?
If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them
everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that
someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as
well.


*QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person
after we're married? *
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the
intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a
colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change
after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person
the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with
your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are
dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key
issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with
a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in
trouble because you didn't do your homework.


Another perspective...


There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a
distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or
at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible,
not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around
you.


Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean?


Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?


Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going
downhill?


When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?


Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or
appreciate you?


The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and
truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who
gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of
your life.


An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes
open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and
make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to
warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you
can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that
important.


Do you bring out the best in each other?


Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete,
compare and control?


What do you bring to the relationship?


Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make
someone love you or make someone stay.


If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness
or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, physical needs, and security
are
the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.


WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:


1. TRUST


*2. COMMUNICATION*


*3. INTIMACY *


4. A SENSE OF HUMOR


*5. SHARING TASKS*


6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN


7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,
etc.)


8. *SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS*


*9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE*


10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT


If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment
withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will
replace.

13 signs of falling in love***

13. When your on the phone with them late at night and they hangup...butyou miss them already when it was just two minutes ago
12. You read their texts over and over again...
11. You walk really slow when you're with them...
10. You feel shy whenever you're with them...
9. When you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster...
8. You smile when you hear their voice...
7. When you look at them, you can't see the other people aroundyou... all you see is him/her...
6. You start listening to slow songs, while thinking of them...
5. They become ALL you think about...
4. You get high just from their scent...
3. You realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you thinkabout them...
2. You would do anything for them...
1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time.....

Never fight during a fight..!

“Why can’t we overlook others’ weaknesses ? “ Don’t we overlook our own limitations ? Of course we do ! All of us repeatedly commit mistakes – same mistakes, and all of us expect others to be tolerant towards our negatives. Then why can’t we be tolerant towards others’ negatives, especially those we love so much ?

Misunderstandings do arise in every relationship. There are moments when our patience is tested. When the heart dominates the mind we become emotional. During such moments, silence is the best weapon to end the battle of words. Both the parties may be right in their own way but our improper communication in a delicate situation makes it difficult for the other to accept our thinking or understand our feelings. Discuss any issue much after the issue is over, never when the issue is on.

The proper time to discuss the differences of opinion is a neutral time – a time when the mind is stable and open to inputs from outside. This is a time without conflicts; a time when the mind is able to discriminate between what is right and what is wrong. Neutral time is when it is not the heart that is ruling the mind but it is the intellect that is in control of the emotions. It is a time when we are more concerned about what is right rather than who is right.

IN A NUTSHELL Relationships are to be treasured, not to be destroyed. Let us save our relationships for a lifetime by holding silence during a fight and communicating during neutral times.